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You can't fix this. Realize that now. It's a sucky and difficult thing to realize--especially in regard to our children, for whom we want the best and are sometime irrational about, but you can NOT fix this. Repeat that to yourself. Then tell her that.
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Shakti, this is sooo true....
Karen, you are amazing in the way you care about your daughter. she is very lucky to have you on her side. Even in the way that you hold her accountable and don't say yes to her when she asks for money - in this you are respecting her as an adult even when she doesn't always act like one! I am so sorry to hear about how hard things are to get the help she needs. I hope that the case manager continues to be helpful and a solution is worked out. Please also remember that no matter how much help you, the case manager and the medical system do give her, it is up to her to get better. She has to want it.
I will be thinking of you all.