I'm so sorry you have been thru the ringer. You were treated so poorly. I have come across those type of psychiatrists as well. They simply say, "I can't help you." and then turn you away without even a referral. I had one pdoc do that to me. So I went to another pdoc in the same office. I have this new pdoc still and he is great. I hope the DBT self help works for you. I have been doing the DBT thing for over 5 years. It has helped a lot! I know that is a long time, but this is the first time I have gone this long without SI, over two years.So all the best to you. And write as much and as often as you want. You are not whining.