Hi Martina,
I can so relate to your dilemma. I was the Director of Student Services for a college before the symptoms of Bi Polar took me out of the game. I loved my work and was very good at it but I couldn't cope with the stress even outside the peak periods. It has been 7 years since I lost the security of a salary and the benefits that went with that.

After I had gone through my severance and a year of employment insurance benefits I was still not well enough to return to work. I began to market my skills as a consultant. It proved to be a good compromise. It allowed me to accommodate my symptoms while making a decent income from home doing the kind of work I loved and was good at. I also live in a small community. Most of my clients are within a couple of hours from home but most of my work hours are done from my home office.

Unfortunately things are really slow right now and not much work has been trickling in so I am having to think again about how I can market my skills. I applied for a few management jobs but when it came down to it I knew I would be bitting off more then I could handle if I took one of them.

You know best what you are able to manage without it causing more problems for you. I guess my message is to think outside the box and consider how you might market your skills as an independant contractor. It doesn't take much of a client list to keep you working enough to pay the bills.

I have downsized my living expenses considerably over the years just to take the pressure off of how much income I need to bring in. I am in the process of selling my home to get out from under a mortgage. I will attempt to find more modest accommodations with the equity I am left with from the sale.

It is stressful to not have the steady salary but I know trying to show up for work everyday would be even more stressful. I read somewhere on the boards the advice given to one of our members about job searching. The pdoc said to pick a job she can do even when her symptoms are flaring. That makes sense to me. As much as I would like to imagine myself back running a devision again or even taking on a less stressful job in the college it isn't in the cards for me right now. Instead I think outside the box to find something between the salary job and the low paying working wage that allows me to utilize my skills on my terms and conditions.

Maybe you can think about how you can market your skills, build up a steady client base and accommodate your health issues at the same time.