Hey there rose,
You are in a safe place here, a place where you can get help and support for your problems and learn strategies on how to handle them safely.
The panic and anxiety is something that is impossible to control in the beginning, but once you have a therapist and learn and implement the different ways of dealing with situations that put you into panic mode you will find it a little easier as you go.
Are you taking any medications at all? Your doctor can help a great deal in that regard and medication can go a long way to making you feel much better. Your dr can refer you a therapist who can help you with coping strategies for each issue.
Take care rose, each time you feel a harm coming on, please come here and write about it so that we can talk to you immediately and support you through the storm,
Rhia