You guys have a lot of history, I think that will work in your favor. I am an optimist and believe that most relationships can be saved. You listed quite a few issues, that if not resolved, can lead to major resentment.

Do you really think he would take the baby if you allowed him to have her by himself for a few hours? Perhaps he and you, are both incredibly stressed over the arrival of the child? The one thing you dont want to do is use the child as a pawn and possession.

Let him be a dad and have time with his kid. It seems like what you are disagreeing about could be resolved. Does he want to remain in the relationship? I wish you peace with whatever decision you make.