(((((( jmo ))))) I am so sorry ...I think it is very common for people who are not ready to think the other one who was abused isnt telling the truth or is wrong like they are mistaken.....It is like protection.....for the self....When someone is helped say with theapy and on their way to well they can start to remember because it isnt AS overwhlming to their mind
Also I think it is very normal..heck I know it is to have mixed feeling on dad..I mean he did bad things but he isnt ALL bad and is dad thats such a conflict to the mind that no wonder you feel so bad and confused on what you feel and the anxiety must be sky high...
Hon, this is my almost 3 a.m reply so its not all as good as I would like it to be but ...I think the answer to a lot of your questions is......because you have been getting well......and are able to face some more issues ...though I bet it dont FEEL like it