hi, maymie,

i was and still am my mother's verbal punching bag. whe will always deprive me of the love and nurturing that i need. it's a form of control and an abuse of power, i keep trying for her approval and love that never materializes and get hurt. now, i feel that all love is emotional pain. when others connect and find happiness, i find emptiness. when i was a child, mom said, "i can do whatever i want and because i'm your mother you have no choice but to love me." well, later for that!

my suggestion is that you realize what harm their behavior is doing to you and elect to move on, to find a family of your choice that choose to love you and support you for the nice person you are. no one needs these silly, painful power games. let them play with someone else's head and get them out of yours. the best revenge is not getting even, it's being successful. stop playing and their silly game will be over and they will be the big losers. you, however, will finally have a life and a loving family.

when choosing your new family, be careful. you see, you probably are comfortable with old patterns. a healthy family may feel odd at first because you are not familiar with having a normal, supportive family. and, no family is perfect, there will always be problems. so, take it slow. don't rush into anything. get acclimated to your new friends slowly as it may feel foreign at first! it takes time to get to know people and it's really easy to make mistakes when you are used to being in a dysfunctional family situation. counseling may help you make the transition.