thank you all for your replies and support. i'm actually on a med that i really think is helping. i don't feel depressed, just unhappy with my situation. I re suggested therapy and hes not interested. He says he doesn't want it to be over, but hasn't done anything we've talked about to make things better. (read a couples book about depression, get the car registered while I was out of town, try to wake up before noon) I feel, and have felt several times throughout our relationship that I have to live life for the both of us. It is terribly draining. I get that his depression is worse than mine, I get that it might be what is making him so emotionally unavailable (even though he still tries to cuddle) I just don't know how long I can do it. He was/has been suicidal in the past (i'm pretty sure he's not atm) and his family has all thanked me for "keeping him alive." It's a huge responsibility. When we got married he promised me that those kinds of things were behind him, and for some reason I believed him.
I'm just rambling now... thanks again, all of you.