Thanks Rhian. Yesterday still feels kind of surreal. When I think about it I feel like I am watching a movie of someone who looks like me. The anxiety of overstimulation was manageable but being in the middle of people living their lives around me was like a movie. Hard to explain. Wierd space today.

My family all want me to move closer but to imagine finding a place in 'normal'.... I just don't know. It is one thing to appear every couple of years and reunite... quite another to 'belong' and have a 'normal' place in the mix of 'normal' lives.

I don't know.... just somehow puts a spot light on how alien I am but I am the only one who sees the light. While I seem myself the alien I am stunned by the realization of how dysfunctional everyone else really is. I wonder how they exist. I went crazy. They carry on oblivious of the insanity of thier own lives. Maybe my insanity is recognizing the insanity of life.

Like I said... in a wierd place. How do people do it. I couldn't. I went crazy. How come they aren't. They just keep going and going oblivious. Normal is wierd. lol.