sorry if I say anything I'm not supposed to but..


I thought the abuse was over for me....it stopped for about 2 weeks..until last night my Mom got mad at me for doing something on accident..and it wasn't even that big of a deal..but she started calling me all types of names and stuff and was yelling at me about blah blah blah...I just kinda ignored it..not really...and she told me to go to my room to go to sleep..so I did...I was pretty upset..and was just trying to focus on getting to sleep but then she comes in and starts hurting me :/...and calling me names and etc.....she usually doesn't hit me with items but this time she did and she wouldn't stop...I feel all weak inside and out and I dunno what I did to deserve that..she told me if I kept crying she would continue to hit me more and I tried to stop and couldn't.she told me that I am grounded forever and that if I ever come out of my room she will kill me <.<...I now have all these bruises from her..not myself..that hurt alot...she told me to forget about my birthday because I'm not important.....and then later that night..when she finally left to go to her room my Dad comes home and I hear her telling him everything all lies and she doesn't even mention anything about her hurting me <.< I'm not the one to hold and grudge and I forgive her...but I dunno what to do she's just making me upset and wanting to kill self but I won't do that..everyone ignores me and it just makes my self esteem that much lower....aah sorry for complaining though..it seems like my problems aren't important enough but oh well.some people are nice but it just turns out that everyone ends up lying to you and I really feel like I can't take it anymore..I'm always getting blamed for things I never do..and she acts like everything is all perfect and like I'm perfectly fine and happy...she tried talking to me today she was making fun of my brother...no I don't really want to talk to her or anyone else