Grrrrrrrrr.

Why am I upset with myself?

I got out of bed when the alarm went off this morning but just could not bring myself to shower and dress. I had an awful time sleeping last night and did not really fall asleep until after 4:00am. I am also almost out of the sleep aid my doc prescribed so I don't know how I am going to get any sleep at all when that is gone.

I'm back in bed and I hear a car horn. I leap out of bed, it is 8:30, look out my window and there is a van outside. #@%$!!! I throw some clothes on and go downstairs (at 4:00am I took some more painkiller so I was able to get down the stairs FAST) and there is no one there. I don't even know that that was them, could have been someone honking for a neighbor.

So I'm all revved up now, don't know if I missed my chance for today or if I'm all worked up over nothing. I check my email and there is an email from the program saying they were at my house yesterday but I did not answer the door. Which is BS... I was showered and dressed by 7:15 and watched from my window (my computer is next to my window) until about 9:30 when I gave up and went back to bed. Even if they had come after that I would have still heard the doorbell, I was still dressed and ready to go. I might not have heard a horn, but doesn't "you did not answer the door" (the exact words in the email) imply they rang the doorbell? And if that was them this morning they most certainly did not ring.

So why am I mad at myself? I replyed to the email, but was very careful to be polite as I feel that if I upset them they won't come back tomorrow. That is probably stupid, and judging from the comments here, I probably should have given them heck (I still could have done that politely but I didn't have to be walking on eggshells when I responded).

I am so tired. I'm sitting here dressed and feeling all yucky because I did not shower. I probably be headed back to bed but will be even more restless because of this situation.