I'm new, but I thought I'd pop my head out, because I think it's amazing that you can still see the long run despite everything else, and know that even though things have gone wrong now, you have the ability to learn from them and move on.
One of my T's told me the metaphor of the spiral staircase- as you go around the staircase, you fell like you're going around in circles and seem to arrive at where you were before, but you have to remember you're one floor higher than before, and you are different/better.
Climbing is really, really hard, but keep turning the corners, and you'll move up. Good luck