So it's been 8 months since I had my heart ripped out and torn to shreads... I am much better, confidient in myself and my abilities. I know that what happened was NOT my fault, it just happened - well that took a lot of therapy to accept.

Now I have a new boyfriend. Met him online, talked for a couple of weeks and then met (for all of you that know my story.. this was a great thing to happen). We spent 7 days living in each others pockets... he works away, four weeks gone and one week back - this will be until the end of the year.

I guess I am havig a bit of trouble opening up fully, in most things I have. He understands that I have been hurt before etc and says that he will never hurt me.. Mark said similar things all through the 5 and a half year relationship and then look what happened.

How do I stop doubting myself - that I am just making another leap of faith and it will turn bad.. I'll end up cripped with pain and heartbreak again. I don't 100% trust in myself to chose the 'right' guy...

I am not painting every guy with the same brush.. but when I was so confidient that Mark and I would spend the rest of our lives together... and he ran off with the receptionist.. how can I be sure that the next guy wont do the same thing??