Great post, mj. I've seen lots of support and some enabling here. I believe there's a different kind of enabling that I've also seen which hasn't been discussed yet.

I've seen and experienced both online and in my own life a negative spin on enabling that is very destructive, imo. I've seen people encourage others to do things that they know isn't in anyones' best interest, yet they do it for the sake of upsetting the other person or many people. Sometimes it is simply a case of flaming someone. Other times it's more complicated. I've seen people deliberately pester people, criticize people and disagree with people. I think this is a cruel and uncalled for type of manipulation.

It's usually very difficult to see this until you've already reacted to it.....at least it is for me. I used to read all of the posts here at the forums and saw when it happened to someone other than myself. Sometimes when one person started such behavior, others would join in too.

I hope we can all stick to support in the future without any intentional enabling of the destructive kind. Unintentional enabling is one thing but deliberately enabling for the purpose of manipulating, hurting or demoralizing someone can in no way be considered accidental or supportive.

Tomi, I think this thread has been a real eye opener for many of us. Thank you.