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Jul 12, 2010, 10:36 AM
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
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Do I think about death? Yes. I was diagnosed with an untreatable and fatal hereditary illness in 1996 - familial amyloidosis. I watched my mother suffer from the disease, her last ten years were the worst. I am now homebound and permanently disabled, on the same path my mother and grandmother had to follow in life. I have a dilated aortic root due to the disease, so it's my guess I'll probably die by way of aortic dissection (separation/tearing away of the aorta from the heart). My chances of surviving such an event would be minimal. If not that, I will probably go by way of medical error because most doctors don't know standard medical procedures do not work on amyloidosis patients.
I worried about death when I was first diagnosed because my son was still a child. He's a grown man now and can take care of himself, so I no longer worry. I have never feared my own death. I do, however, feel a tremendous guilt for still being alive.  I'm no longer able to work or contribute to society.  I know a LOT of conservative people who will be overjoyed when I die because they consider me a burden. 
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