I have had a couple of dramatic realizations that have helped me when I have felt I was in danger of settling for something that wasn't settled :-)

I hated making potato salad or mashed potatoes because of the potato peeling involved and both of those are favorites of my husband. I was thinking about potato peeling as I was doing so once, to make mashed potatoes and suddenly realized "why" I hated peeling potatoes and why it was so hard for me. My stepmother used to make me peel potatoes and give me a hard time about how slow and clumsy I was about it. It occurred to me, as an adult, that I didn't have much practice peeling potatoes and, as a young teen, would have had smaller hands and less idea how to approach such a task than my mother, and that watching her whiz through peeling, next to me, was not conducive to feeling good about my own abilities, LOL.

But that beginner's mind, the fact that I didn't yet have much experience and I would get better at it as I practiced came to me as an adult and I felt less like a failure and more like a beginner and concentrated on making my husband happy with his favorite foods and that helped me feel much better and now I only mind peeling potatoes half as much as I use to