Congratulations on your over nine years of sobriety! I think you still are a very responsible person because of how you reacted to your issues, how you took control even through illness.

I don't think we can really be X unless we have experienced alternatives to it. You label yourself as having been a responsible person most of your life but how do you know? What were you considering responsible then and under what handicaps? It's not enough to have been raised a certain way and to declare that X as there is no "contrast" to that. What society or our parents consider "responsible" is not necessarily what we might know of responsible? You know responsible because you had to come out of irresponsible. You were tested in the Fire of Life and chose "responsible". Much different from a child or young adult doing what their parents taught/want to make their parents or society (getting a job) happy. Both are "responsible" things to do but, if I were in a difficult situation and needed to chose a responsible person to be on my team, I would choose you because you had been tested.