I would look around at myself and life and not him and this relationship for a bit. You have cancelled the phone and severed those ties so I would see what's what. Whether he did something "dangerous and manipulative" or not doesn't matter at this point since it is over.

Do you want your marriage to work? If yes, work on it; you can hug your husband, don't have to wait for him to hug you. If no, split up as staying married cannot help you (or your son) in any way. It is like facing life with a weight around one's feet or hands in boxing gloves; who needs it?