The last two words of your post was help me. I'll give you my honest no-nonsense opinion. You admit being in a relationship that clearly is not working and hasn't worked in 11 years, yet you stayed. Now as a married woman you decide to play around with a felon who is on parole. The only questions you should be asking yourself is why you did this, not if he was dangerous and manipulating you. Loneliness is not an excuse for bad behavior. Have you put the effort into making you and your kid's life better the way you put effort into buying attention from this guy? Time to take a close look at where your life is right now and what you can do to help yourself have a much happier next 11 years. What do you need to work on, I think you already know, but it has to start with you and you can do it.