I agree, sometimes it feels like that guilt wont go away. It will eventually. I suffer with PTSD. I lost my grandmother 2 years ago, she was like my mother. I haven't been able to go to the grave site or go to my grandfathers home . I feel so much guilt and hatred for myself because I am unable to do what I should be doing. I can't be there for my grandfather, and he's nearly 90 now. I feel guilty because He thought for a long time that, I hated him. But the true reason is I feel like I'm being completely selfish, because I don't want to cry and I don't want to grieve her. So I understand your guilt and know how it can affect close relationships. I just hope you two can come to terms eventually and you can be at peace.