I know how it feels...The last time I cried hard at a funeral over someone I love was when I was eleven and my grandmother died due to cancer....
Just recently my fiance's best friend died..Accidental of course, but still just as painful..I'd known him since I was in kindergarten. He meant so much to soooooo many people. I just couldn't take seeing everyone, including his girl friend of two years, crying and sobing. My friend kept crying and saying that it wasn't fair....and it's just not fair! He was only 19 and too young to die...