I use to bring my T books with passages that described what I wanted her to know and I wanted her to read them but she said no books, I had to talk to her. I know a little bit what you're going through, granite. We went through many years of my not talking, just being stuck in my head.

Granite, can you imagine, in your head, T sitting next to you instead of across from you? Like she is a friend? That helped me occasionally to not be as afraid and at least say some little thing. Don't think of her as T sitting next to you though but as a faceless friend so you can at least talk about something; pick something not related to the fear, not in the room; tell her what you had for breakfast or expect to have for dinner :-)

Another thing I'd try is to stay in her footsteps; if she says, "Just say one word" then reply, "It is hard to say one word" or, "too much pressure to say one word". Sometimes I was able to say a little about how much arguing and stuff was going on in my head, the many conversations so I couldn't pay attention to her.

I'm sorry she hurt you not letting you write letters; I was able to, many years later, to tell T how the no books had hurt. Thinking back though, it worked out fine and was good that I was "corralled" and contained, I felt safer but kind of sad that I made T chase me around so much. Sometimes I would get really brave and just say what I needed to but I wasn't really able for many many years.