Granite, it sounds like you are really trying hard. Granite, are you able to talk to other people in your life? Is it just your T that you are silent with? Do you thiink you could talk to your T if you chose a really easy topic that had no feelings attached to it? Like the weather? I am wondering if maybe you could talk about easier things like the weather that are not necessarily about how you feel. Like, "yesterday I baked some cookies, " or "look how hard it is raining outside." Maybe by speaking words about those things you might get used to the routine of speaking, and become better able to move toward talking about your feelings. It sounds like your T is asking you to move directly from never speaking at all to talking about really hard stuff, like what was in your letter, or how you are feeling. Maybe taking little baby steps and talking about the weather first would be more gradual and less intimidating.

If I wrote my T a long, intense letter all about my feelings, I wouldn't be able to read it to him either.