You must go and get some help for this. I understand the anger you feel from personal experience and it can be so over-powering. You need to let this out, and you need to talk to someone who understands and will sympathize with your angry and obviously that is not your family at the moment. If you go to your doctor they will refer you to a therapist.

Also continue with your insistence not to see your father. It is your right not to see him. But maybe telling your family would be a step forward (but only when you're ready). Maybe sharing with us would help as you are anonymous. The best person to tell would definitely be a therapist though and I urge you to go because it really will help.