movingforward, I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but I have this sense that I don't really exist except in other people's perceptions of me. The phrase I use is, "there's no "Me" in me."

One of the things that my T is helping me see is that the problem isn't that I don't have an identity, but that I don't recognize it. We all have motivations, personality traits, attributes and flaws that make us who we are. They make up our identity. I've been learning that I'm not really an empty shell, that's just a feeling that I have because of my disorders.

Like I said, I'm not sure if this is the same as your issue, but if it sounds familiar, you may want to try exercises like writing down things about yourself, your good points, your likes and dislikes, things that you know or do that are uniquely yours. And soon you will see that you are all kinds of things other than just someone's mom, or wife.

Good luck,
Jo