I've had it! I cannot live like this anymore! I am not sure about suicide though, but I feel like I no longer know anything about myself and those around me. Perhaps I'm too nosy, but I digress. This confusion, headaches, constantly battling with myself is driving me insane!
And I try to do good for people, but I dont help at all! Somehow I manage to make them more upset, or they just dont get what I'm trying to say to them. Its always been that way, they look at me like an alien just dropped me down from his ship- I'm so confused and I randomly start kicking and throwing things across my room. It seems like everyone just hates me sometimes and I've never known what I done wrong! Its been that way sinse I was little! And people always said how lucky I was, I'm spoiled and selfish, and not funny. I cut myself out of my frustration. I'm truely beginning to hate myself, I cant stand all of my drawlings and I can hardly stand myself typing this. And I feel like nobody cares, nobody ever seems to care.. I know what you might be thinking, "Oh poor baby, doesn't she know there are kids out in Africa or even in America that are struggling more than her!? Why should I give her my sympathy?!"
People have tried giving me advice but its not working, (not that I'm ungreatful) like they say to seak help; I can't let them worry their lives for me, not that they'd care. Don't listen to what they say!; But they've treated me that way all of my life! I'm afraid I do not know anything else.
I'm trapped!! Please help me, I cant take it anymore! I feel like becoming a crimminal like John Dillenger (Except I dont get shot, nor do I shoot people and I still would go to church) Well, I'd threaten to shoot people, for them to give me the $$.
See, I'm a freak! I'm insane! The Mad Hatter would take one look at me and would think "Wow, that chick is insane.."