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Sky, I'm with you right up to the last paragraph. I'm not arguing with you but I'm wondering if you'd clarify the "I Statement" comment.

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We need to say something like , "This thread is upsetting me" rather than "I hate the conflict this thread is creating on site."

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I interpreted this the opposite that you did Sept... I didn't take the meaning as focusing on the "I" in the beginning of the second statement, but rather on the "me" in the first statement, which I interpreted as the "'I' statement" example even though it didn't use the word I. I think I took that that way because that's the one focused on the feelings of the person commenting, rather than making a judgement about what is going on at the site. Which is what I think you were trying to say, Sept, and I agree with.

I can't speak to what Sky meant to say (and I apologize if I appear to be putting words into your mouth) but I think it is also interesting how two people can read the same thing and interpret it entirely differently... one of the problems with an online community (and sometimes also IRL, but at least you have emphasis and tone of voice to help you out IRL)