Hey, thanks everyone. I haven't been around for a few days, so sorry for my lack of response

@ TheByzantine: I used to deal with these concerns by talking to her about it, but I guess my way of talking isn't the most compassionate. I end up making her feel worthless and probably about as horrible as I feel, and now she's withdrawing even farther from me, and into the arms of her wonderful boyfriend. My aunt's offered to let me stay at her place in another city for the weekend so we can talk, so, maybe that will help for now.

I'm also trying to reconnect with a childhood friend, one I've pushed away in my teens like pretty much every other friend I've ever trusted. I doubt we'll be close enough for me to vent about all the s*** I'm going through, but I guess just having someone else to chill with on a regular basis will help.

@ sugahorse: I'm really sorry to hear about your situation, I'm glad to hear you're okay. Thanks for the support. Walking away from her isn't easy, but today I finally spoke up and told her I just want to be friends. She agreed, but I think she's got her own abandonment issues, and she suffers from pretty severe panic attacks and anxiety... Makes it hard to walk away from her completely. I know for my own good I should but she's the only one I can talk to about a lot of things right now and I can't stand making her cry.

@ everyone else: if I reply to everyone individually I'll end up writing a novel. So thank you all. You're all very helpful and supportive and I appreciate it greatly