Thanks Rhian,
You always make me feel better. I am very lucky to have a supportive family. It is hard letting them in just the same. So much baggage keeps me behind my walls. time will tell if I let my defenses down. I don't take the gift of my family for granted but I do still hide from them. I perform to give them who they want to see. I was always the go to person so it is hard not to maintain the imagine just to keep the family balance.

Hope you are well today and not mad at me about last night. I am sorry for being so difficult sometimes. I would hate to think you have given up on me but will understand if you do. Helping me can hurt. That's why I don't let my family help. I don't want them to get hurt when I don't do the right thing sometimes. I know how exasperating that can be for people.