SOo my T retired a while ago now - last OCt i think and i went through some stuff....for a long while lol - i guess i disapeared off the radar....
he has contacted me a couple of times before he moved away but hasnt been in touch for about 4 to 6 or 7 months ... so I thought that was it ..... (time doesnt mean much to me im disassociated most of the time now - not really present)

then out of the blue he contacts me today to see how i am and i tell him (of course being me ) that i am fine

he's ging to send me some stuff down form whereever he is on ... what do i cal it ..emm collecting? building walls of things to protect myself from the universe lol getting in a total mess lol - dunnno - im prob not being very clear - so stop rambling P7 - so im not in therapy anymore so maybe this doesnt belong here.....Mods feel free to move me where you will ok ..

but he was my therapist and i guess i was really happy to talk to him .. but after he went i just wanted to cry..... how dumb is that for those of you that dont know me or him - he was my therapist until his cancer got bad and he had to retire............. and move away.

So why arnt i happy ... why do i feel so desolate.......... the relationship between my pdoc and I seems to have deteriorated since i was Labelled Borderline Personality Disorder as well as PTSD....... I think whereas he thought he could help me wiht PTSD now everything seems to be (maybe just in my mind) hmm wel thats all part of Borderline - sighs......

I just feel so sad and i have no idea why........ you guys are the only ones who can understand where im coming from........

I guess its just a bit dark out there at the moment..

take care one and all

P7

Am i the dreamer or the dream???? who can tell.........