I'm not saying my friends have the problems, well to an extent yes because they refuse to support my decision not to divorce my husband BUT I am in no way blaming any of them. The people we associated ourselves with do not deal with mental illness or anything of a serious nature in a close proximity, none of them want to be involved especially with mental illness issues and it's partly the stigma and yes the consumption of the situation. I had stepped back during that month he went missing and to me it felt like I was the worst wife ever because I wasn't doing whatever I could to help him.

I KNOW I have a lot to learn and figure out and I know he can't be fixed but I firmly believe he can get the proper treatment which 5 weeks ago he wanted and when he gets to a place, if he does, that's more rational I definitely feel I can back off... it's like, for a few years I knew what is dx was but neither of us took it seriously and the days where I had to force him to shower because he soiled himself or brush his teeth or change his clothes... I've taken care of him this way for so long on a daily basis that not taking care of him feels like hell to me. I know there is a gray area to all of this but right now it feels just black and white.