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I asked of someone this week: What was I supposed to learn from my childhood abuse? I asked it on the basis of believing in fate; however, I don’t know if I believe in fate or not, so I’m not sure why I asked it that way. A response I got was: “What did you learn? Good topic for journaling.”
As a result, this week I’ve been thinking about the difference between “supposed to learn” and “did you learn.”
At this point, I don’t know what I was supposed to learn. I will discover that as I continue on my spiritual journey, I presume. And regarding what I did learn: That has evolved over the years.
Earlier in life:
I learned to be afraid.
I learned to do physically hurtful things.
I learned what it felt like to have hate trapped in my soul.
I learned what it felt like to want to kill someone.
I know now, decades later, what I’ve learned is different than the list above because the latter three are no longer with me. My learnings, though, are scattered throughout different parts. Some learned to be compassionate. Some remain afraid.
I’d be interested in hearing your response to one or both of these questions.
What were you supposed to learn from your abuse?
What did you learn from your abuse?
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