Hi Queen, I know exactly how you feel. I try to avoid making plans in advance for this very reason. I get caught off guard once and a while too. In mania anything is possible but then the flip sides pops up and EEKS!!!

You can back out. Yes there will be consequences with your mum so you have to weigh the pros and cons of that.

You could also plan for some accommodations. Find a middle ground you can live with. If you think a certain amount of alone time will help then plan it in. If you can talk this through with your mum all the better. You may be pleasantly surprised how open she is to plan the weekend to give you alone time rather than loose the whole weekend. It might even be a good education for her and a good chance for her to be supportive of your special needs.

Too often we try to push through and act normal. That isn't fair to us or the people we try to spend time with. Better to acknowledge your limits and live within them. You can do the weekend but it will need to be modified to accommodate your special needs.

Honour yourself enough to plan the weekend so that it is do-able. How can you plan the weekend without it being too overwhelming. Schedule alone time if that will help. Use that alone time productively. Focus it on settling the anxiety that may have built up and prepare for the next 'shift' with your mother.

You have issues with anxiety. Don't let it deny you but don't you deny it. Accommodate it and plan your time respectful of doing whatever you need to manage it. Know as much in advance as you can about her plans so that you can avoid or prepare for potential triggers. Be open and honest with your mum so that together you can plan the weekend so that it isn't going to trigger you.

You can do this. You can also choose to cancel. It is your choice. Own that power to decide and then see if you can do it and what you will need to do to make sure it is successful.