Thank you for sharing this, Calista et all. We are very sorry for the pain you are going through right now. It is not right for your husband to "use your pain against you" as you feel he is doing. A spouse should always be there for emotional support, and we are very sorry you are not being provided it by him.
Maybe he is feeling weak, or confused, or hurt himself right now? That might be understandable, but it is still no excuse for him to be hurtful towards you!
We encourage you to NOT pretend that all is well. When you are struggling, you should let him know. You should let others know whenever it is safe to do so. We are very glad you were able to share your feelings here, if no where else.
Please do not feel bad about not posting here lately. We all give support as we are able to, and are free to seek support here when we need it!
All of us will be thinking about you, and sending you caring thoughts. Safest 's if you are able to recieve them.
~Emma & Gretta