I work in an afterschool program for children...when school ended June 24th...so did my job...they do not offer summer employment

My employer is the YMCA, I even applied in March for their summer camp....but didnt get it..

I do believe I have appiled at 80 jobs or so since March, to no avail...

The worst thing of all is not having anything to DO or BE or FEEL!!! I am used to having 30 different activities and places lined up on my agenda each day.........I feel extremely useless, dejected, rejected, empty and as if I have no place in this big ugly world.....

My friends notice I am off kilter, they don't know what to do...

I cannot believe out of all my interviews & second interviews SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE couldnt have hired me?!!! It would have prevented myself going on welfare, for heaven's sake!!!! And a lot of sorrow!!!

On the 29th I begin a 2 week stint as a camp counselor at a christian camp; so I will feel more productive then, I am sure....

Meanwhile I am so mad my job just 'ends' for the summer- just like that!! How can they DO this to me??!!

I guess I am very angry, although I never, ever express this emotion, just burns.

Well I do have three interviews this and next week,, they look quite promising...

If only there was a way to jump ahead in time just a wee bit........

I can feel that future contented feeling of belonging to a job/place of work.....

I cling to this hope...............