perna, proberbly a part of that is true, but I understand now I was always looking to be "claimed"...a pyschiatrist I saw once asked me if I could stop drinking for 2 wks and to come back then. I managed that and returned and he said, well then everything seems ok now then lol!

I saw another therapist and tested her abilty to "hold" me by saying afTer 8 mo ths that I think I was ok and was going to Stop coming, she said, ok. I remeMber walking away with tears in my heaRt and not understanding what it wAs I needed to say or do.

Now the T I have now for 6yrs, I spent the first yr keep threaTninng to quit and she would say that she didn't feel I was ready to quit, and I would act all hurt and pretended I would stay for her sake lol, but really she knew and was "holding" me and continues to do so but in a non controlliNg manner. She helps me when wordS fail me.

But yes there was some room for me not being quite ready.