Just a reminder with loving hugs everyone - lets not turn any of this incredibly difficult situation into any sort of religious debate. I know it becomes difficult when one feels so strongly about the topic, and gosh knows this is one of the hardest topics to talk about(but smething that NEEDS to always be communicated about). Unfortunately for this reason, we do not allow any specific religious debate or even talk on the forums. Everyones faith is there own and our thoughts on it are our opinions, neither right nor wrong - just personal to that very individual. Am not saying this angrily at all! just I have seen where religious debate has caused alot of trauma online due to differing opinions.

Chklets,

Many, MANY hugs to you and your daughter. I want to speak to you for a second from two veiwpoints.

The first is that of someone who was sexually abused by their father. This occured with me over the course of about 12 years, from as young as I could remember until I finally left and disclosed.

You are completely right to remove your daughter from his current presence. It is definetly more important than we beleive for a daughter to have a relationship with her father, however, it is even MORE important for your daughter to never have to experience sexual abuse of ANY kind - even if that is just him looking at her undressed. It is scientifically (psychologically?) proven that sex abuse does infinite amounts of damage to people. I truly think we do not even know the extent of the damage it causes, and that damage is life-long, even with therapy and healing. Especially with her being at the age where she is probably beginning to struggle with her individuality, and learning to be independent. She needs all of your support and more!

You may know this stuff already, but I think it would be a good idea to remind you of the sort of emotional damage that could occur - perhaps this will help you to feel more solid in your decision to remove yourselves from the situation for now(and perhaps for good, if that's what needs to happen). You can take a search on Google for Consequences of sexual abuse in Father abused women.(note: i realize this hasn't occurred yet in your situation, but again I think reading this will help you form a stronger feeling about your decision.

From personal experience, my abuse caused me to become very promiscuous. It also caused severe anxiety, PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, and severe panic disorder as well as mild dissociative identity disorder. I became addicted to drugs, and pretty much everything else that you can drown your reality in. I am still to this day, having a difficult time, and in fact due to depression and anxiety, lost my own child to foster care.. he is still in care - I am working to regain custody. I did not abuse him, but the combination of mental and physical illness I suffer led me to not be able to keep up with his care. Most of my problem was housework.

I'll be back to write more later. Much love.