Hello, Bobbi. No need to be sorry. Talking about what is bothering you can be cathartic. What is it about your life that needs to be changed? Do you ever get to see your children?

Please look after yourself first: http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/boundaries

You have had so much happen to you right from the start. You are such a courageous, resilient person, Bobbi. Believe it.
http://familydoctor.org/online/famdo...ental/782.html
http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/1752
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/ment...nal_health.htm
http://cmhc.utexas.edu/booklets/selfesteem/selfest.html
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sel...9/METHOD=print

Please rethink being open and forthright in therapy. Unless you are, a good result cannot be achieved. Allow the therapist to give you his/her best work. Talk about everything that happened. What have you got to lose?

I know I get preachy. Even so, you have been dragging around this ball and chain for a long, long time. Get rid of it.

Good luck.