My family didn't believe me either. Some of them put me through hell in the process. But I don't hate them for it. What I do admire is those in the recent years that have told me - I BELIEVE YOU NOW. You see I know that when I did tell and how I told shook the earth for them. I know that they had to figure their own way through the mess just like I was doing. The fact that your sister talked to you says she doesn't hold anything against you because you didn't believe her then. All that matters is that you believe her now and told her that.

Everyone remembers things at their own pace when they are ready to not when others need or want them to. You remembered now because somewhere inside you know that it is safe to remember now.

When I say I forgive what happened it's not specifically for my abusers. I had to forgive for my sanity - by this I mean I forgive myself for being arroused, and having an org... I forgive myself for letting him do it because I had no choice he was the adult and I was the child. I forgive myself for not telling when I didn't tell because it wasn't safe for me to tell.. The list goes on. Maybe this is what your sister meant when she said she had to forgive for herself..

No its not the victim syndrome. it is human nature to believe no matter what everyone has some good in them to love including abusers, on top of that from the day we are born we are told we should love our parents. Its just natural to hate peoples actions but love them as a person. I struggle with love vs hate for my abusers all the time. I gave up trying to make sense out of it. I just accept that one minute I hate my abusers and the next I love them and neither one of those feelings is wrong because what a person feels is just their feelings and there is no right or wrong way to feel.