If it seems too dangerous then your reaching out stopped right before it could have been effective.

How about working on the "fact" that it feels extremely dangerous? As a child, yes, but now you need to get your emotions to recognize the new reality (plus those emotions from childhood need to be expressed because otherwise they ain't going nowhere and will continue to stay with you.).

I do know what you mean, though, about reaching out not feeling safe. I had to work on a few things to make this feat feel more safe. I worked on being able to protect myself (boundaries), my self worth (because you don't want anyone too close to see the "real" you when you feel that you are worthless), worked on my anxiety (because with anxiety you need people back at a safe and comfortable distance), and meeting my needs (because this heals you and healed folks interact easier).