I don't think there's a suppose to learn as I think abuse was just individual experiences in my life, equal to other experiences. I do not lump each experience together into "abuse", that makes my experience too weighted in any particular direction. It matters to me if my abuser(s) were not feeling well one day or was disappointed or angry with me or all the wealth of other feelings we each have. Each experience was a piece of their life too and not all I interpret as abuse would the other person interpret that way or other, independent observers, etc. My life is all I have and is my unique individual experience, based wholly on my interpretation. By the way, my sky is green

I learned I am strong and a survivor. I learned I am an individual. I learned I am equal to others and my life is what I see and interpret it to be. Yes, I was hit in the face. Yes I was raged at by a parent when I was a child and had an adult touch me sexually inappropriately. I have felt humiliation, embarrassment, fear, terror, anxiety, panic, most of the negative emotions a human in capable of feeling: http://www.eqi.org/cnfs.htm

Some of them came from my experiences with abuse. I have learned I am human. I have learned everyone else is, including those who abused me are/were, too.