My blood pressure is always absolutely perfect. It's never once been at all high or low. Just my pulse seems to be going crazy. (There's no correlation between blood pressure and heart rate. http://www.americanheart.org/present...tifier=3025168)

Yesterday at the doc appt, my blood pressure was perfect, pulse was high (90). I called my GP yesterday to see what it was day before yesterday (when I didn't ask) and they said 68. So maybe this is just anxiety? I'm not really as nervous at my GP because I see her often. 68 is still a bit high for me to be happy with, but it's ok.

I'm going to talk to her about it this afternoon when I see her. Disability informed me two days ago that I had to see her too for an eval. That will make 4 disability evals. Sheesh.

Better safe than sorry. I think sometimes I get really anxious about taking all these pills. Seems unnatural, even though I know it's necessary.

Maybe I'm just more anxious about all the crao going on my life than I thought.

Thank you for your replies. You shoulda seen me yesterday writing, tears running down my face and sobbing like my dog died. It make me think about the times when I think of sui....I kind of chuckled actually. When I have an actual health scare and think I could die I panic because I don't want to die at all. I think I have a new view on the idea of killing myself after these health scares and after facing down that cliff and being terrified of not having life in me if I just took one single step. I hope this has really brought it home to me (and I think it has) that I do NOT want to die, no matter how bad it gets.