I have put my family thru this kind of pain. I can't tell you what will work and what won't work...I wish I could. All I do know is that when I am in that place, confronting me with the facts pushes me deeper into the psychosis. I stop trusting the people close to me and become secretive. I think the best thing you could do is get some help for yourself, maybe not telling him you're doing it is the best thing for now. You really need an expert to tell you how to handle it. Can you talk with his primary doc? My heart goes out to you, I can see the pain in your post and how much you love your hubby...he is so lucky to have you. I hope and pray you and your husband find your way thru it.