Death... it is something that I count down for every day. To go to sleep and to never wake up or just be killed somehow. I literally go to bed thinking please be the day. I can't help it. I get depressed every morning when I wake up cause well I'm awake but I figure something might happen that day. When it becomes nightfall I get depressed again cause nothing happened. Its been like this for years and I'm getting tired of feeling this way.