Hi Babysteps,

I know it seems impossible. What I mean is, I know where are you are coming from. I'm not sure if this is helpful, but for me the impossible has been related to finding work that I love. To be a bit more specific, it means finding work where I do not begin to suffer from some kind of stress-related reaction upon thinking about it. Mind you, I am rather soft-spoken but I have gone off in several therapy sessions pointing out with complete and utter confidence that being able to navigate the world of career or life's-work is something that is meant for other people and it is not meant for me. I remember saying in a very assertive manner once how very quaint it is that so many people can decide what they would like to do in college and then follow that path untill they are making a nice salary of maybe 30K a year (or more!) doing something that they are at least mildly interested in. As you can imagine there, I was trying to hide a lot of pain with a good deal of defensiveness.
Yet with a lot of talking it out in therapy I admit that a very (very) slow change has begun to take place. There is a chink in my armor, so to speak, where I am only slightly less convinced that this is for other people only and not for me. I have begun to crack my old school textbooks again (I had to drop out of school). I have begun to dream ever so slightly. I would ask you to consider what that word impossible means to you and I urge you to talk it over. There is certainly nothing wrong with being single. But it is wise to take the time to ask your heart what she really wants.

E