LivingMiracle I think you should get back on your meds. I understand what you are saying when you don't feel the same and it has some kind of control. I've been there and quit taking meds for the same reason. My condition got worse and now I realize my medicine helps me to have some normality to my life. I got tired of feeling out of control and decided change is what I needed. I hope this helps and things get better for you. Sounds like you have some good goals in your life and I wouldn't let that go.