(((((wepow))))) I'm glad you broke your "rule". I have set those same kinds of rules for myself regarding my T before, and broken them. The bottom line is, you have to do what feels right. For me, when I feel the sting of abandonment/rejection from T (or anyone) my instinct is to pull away, back inside my shell where nobody can hurt me. And yet I know I'm in recovery now, and part of being in recovery is NOT doing what I've always done.

I'm just saying, don't beat yourself up for breaking the rule. What is they say about rules being made to be broken?