I don't think I was suppose to learn something from my abuse, however that doesn't mean I didn't learn things, like the things you listed I learned those. I learned what the most toxic and hateful anger in life is, I learned to be afraid, I learned to not trust. I learned what hate was.

But, I think I learned other things, this may sound crazy, but I believe in balance, there is a ying and yang to everything, there is a bad and good, a light and dark to every situation. I learned to be compassionate, I learned the things I NEVER want to be. I learned patience, for myself and others through years of having to heal and piece myself back together. I learned that there is evil, god awful venmous evil in this world, but I also learned there is love, wonderful amazing love and support in people, and I think I appreicate that more because of the horrors I lived through.

My T asked me once if I could change anything in my life would I? I instantly answered no, I didn't even think on it, because I wouldn't change anything, it sucked, I wouldn't wish the abuse I suffered through on any human being, not even my abuser, but, what I lived through, shaped who I am, and I like me, I like the person I am, the people I have in my life. I think that I may be able to help someon someday, do something for someone to help them, and when that day comes, I have a differnt level of understanding and compassion that most people wouldn't have.

I hope that made sense....

Edit: I wanted to add thank you so much for sharing this writingwithink, I appreciate it. sending peace and serenity to you.