rob, i think the reason this played out so badly is because you wanted her to not have an emotional response to your presence in her and her child's life. that isn't natural nor healthy and the way she responded was in fact normal and healthy. true, she thought she could play along with what you wanted but she couldn't because people are not meant to live life that way. i think your best bet might be to find someone who has the same dx as you do so they will understand where you are coming from.