Seriously. I promise I am not manic right now. I am not being cocky, delusional, gloating or anything like that at all. It always seems that my thoughts about things are always two or more steps ahead of everyone else. I'm sure you all have to know what I mean. I find myself becoming extremely aggravated with people (especially co-workers) when they suggest something that I know is ridiculous and won't work. My family has always told me that always think too fast about things. I can't help it, it's just the way I process things. It's kind of like the fight or flight response. I am always stuck in fight mode.
This all really sucks for a lot of reasons. Most people think I am a ***** because I never give anyone any credit. I always shoot people down before they have a chance to try anything at all. I guess that does make me a *****. Kind of a "know it all." I hate that about myself. I am really trying to remember that not all people think and do things the same way.

I always did really well in school and college. I never had to study, it all just came to me (well, except for math). I am so disappointed in myself. I feel like I wasted so many opportunities because of this ****** ****ing disorder. Now I am stuck. I have so many thoughts and ideas that run through my head all the time, but it is such a clogged mess up there that I can't ever put anything together that makes sense to anyone. I am also add/adhd so that probably has a lot to do with the congestion and not being able to "tune" in to a specific channel.

Sorry I am going on and on here. I know if I get off the computer I will go to sleep and I don't want tomorrow to be here yet. It's finally quiet. Booo.